As some, but not all of you, may know, I was diagnosed with a low-grade
congestive heart failure in October due to damage done by chemo. This
was a known possible side effect and the particular drug that likely
caused this was considered necessary to preserve my life. And, we are
completely grateful to this day to God both for my life and for
modern-day health care that provided me a years I may not have had give
treatment options 50 years ago. I am currently on a beta-blocker and we
were still in the process of figuring out things when life got more
weird. Than normal. Because I am so normal.
The short update is: I'm ok and we are going in for more tests this week.
The
long answer: Have you ever looked through someone's prescription
glasses that are too strong for you? And then your eyes kinda feel
funny and if you kept them on then your head would feel wrong? As the
kids and I were driving back from a home schooling field trip Friday
afternoon I kept thinking, I really need to get more contacts because
the sun is to bright and squinting is making my eyes feel funny. About 3
miles from home I developed a really weird kind of headache. I mean
really weird as in I have never felt anything like it before and don't
even know really how to describe it other than I knew that I might pass
out while driving.
I started praying like crazy. Got home, had
the kids help me bring things into the house and then sent them all
outside to play while I went upstairs to put Matthew down. Two days
before, on Wednesday night I had chest pains but didn't think it was at
all serious, probably just the anxiety of being diagnosed with heart
failure on Oct 24th and trying to find out how we were going to treat
it. On Friday afternoon as I climbed the stairs with Matthew I went
from feeling weird and different and off to feeling wrong. Deep down,
something is REALLY wrong with me wrong.
The dilemma was what to
do about it. We have one vehicle and I had the truck after dropping
Josh off at work and Josh's boss had been frustrated with him for taking
time off for all my appointments to get dx with heart failure to begin
with. I lay down with Matthew and nursed him for a few minutes and then
was like, "OK. I either need to call Josh or call 911." I called
Josh at work and asked him to try and find a ride home asap. He asked
me to take my pulse rate, was my heart racing? Yeah, nope. I count
was 22 beats in 30 seconds and now I was actively trying not to pass
out. Thankfully after a couple of phone calls I got a hold of another
home schooling mom and she (praise God) bailed on her afternoon plans to
go home so we could bring her the kids. 4 kids. Just before dinner.
Got to love God-friends!
We made it into the ER around 4:45pm,
waited for the receptionist window to open up and said, "chest pain" and
they took me right away :). I was really out of it: freezing cold and
shaking, my blood pressure was 195/70 but my pulse was not racing. I
got hooked up to the heart monitors and they tested my blood for heart
attack and then the answers from the docs got a little weird. They told
us that I was having a panic attack, that my neck muscles were tight
and constricting my airway/heart rate and that after a few more tests we
could go home. If I am being charitable, which I don't feel at the
moment, then the old fashion male protectiveness of the fragile female
came into play and they didn't want me to worry. They saw a 36 yr old
mom with a baby with her. Better to dx me with hysteria than to treat
me like a rational thinking being capable of NOT FREAKING OUT
EXCESSIVELY over stressful news :).
A couple of more tests and we
were let out after 9:30pm with a prescription for heart burn of all
things, and told to call the cardiologist on Monday. My discharge
papers read: atypical chest pain and globus hystericus. I thought, and I
think was told, that it was all in my head/psychosomatic illness. We
didn't get home from picking up the kids at Robyn's till late and slept
in on Sat.
By mid Sat afternoon, I was like, really? Did I
really create all that? I still felt like crap. Then I remembered that
on my discharge papers there is an access code to go to the online
portal for chart information. I'm kinda mad right now. Yes, my heart
enzymes were not elevated and my chest x-ray was normal, but BOTH of my
EKGs were abnormal with lots of exclamation points and medical jargon
that when I look up the definition means that I AM NOT OUT OF MY MIND
thankyouverymuch! For those of you in the medical profession or who
like to look stuff up, I had: "sinus bradycardia"; "T wave
abnormality-inverted T waves, consider inferolateral ischemia";
"prolonged QT"; "non-specific T wave abnormality". And I am,
apparently, not pregnant :).
Josh and I knew that with a
congestive heart failure dx, even a mild case, we might be in for a
ride, and I guess that ride started a bit earlier than we were
expecting! I'm guessing from looking stuff up that there will be lots
of opportunities for my new homeschooling mom-friends to watch my
kids:). If my reading of things is correct then I am at a really high
risk of "cardiac events" like I just had where I get dizzy, pass out,
have seizures, or have a heart attack because my heart is not regulating
it's beat very well. The top of my heart is not "talking" to the
bottom.
I'll try to let you all know what is happening. Please
pray for Josh as he tells his boss today what is going on and that he
needs more time off this week for appointments. Please pray for peace
for us both as this is so stressful and scary. Please pray for us to
find/get into a GOOD cardiologist, I was not happy with the one we saw
last time. Please pray for us as we consider ways to talk about my
condition with the kids. We have an apt with our "old" cardiologist
tomorrow and with the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL Dec 1st.
Love you guys and thanks ahead of time for the prayers,
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