Thursday, November 13, 2014

Birthday & Cancerversary

I found the lump in my breast a year ago last Friday.  This Friday is my birthday, I turn 34, but
March is now a bitter sweet month for me.
A year ago, March 2nd, I found a lump in my breast feeding
Kate. 


Cancerversary

It’s not quite spring time
There are not yet buds on the trees
But we still watch the fountain outside as it bubbles over blank rocks

Late Friday afternoon we wait as a family
It shouldn’t take long, I shouldn’t be here

I switch to reading my kids magazines with
Pictures of women my mother’s age as I nurse my baby

It shouldn’t take long to look at this lump because
I’m too young to have breast cancer

A trip to the back to don pink gowns that do nothing
To hide our vulnerability as we wait to be released from death

Another picture, another view
A mammogram
and ultrasound
As the staff get quiet
And look at me with pity

“Please wait while I talk to the radiologist,”
And
“Is your husband in the waiting room?”

What do you do when the doctor cries?
My mind grows numbI stare at the pictures

No one believes until the biopsy
But forever
I will remember
2 days after I turned 33

I heard the word "cancer"

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