When the Unexpected Happens

Please forgive me for taking so long to post. This last month has been CRAZY:

• I turned 39. 
  
• My husband’s 20 year old car died –the distributor. And then died again –the transmission, it has been laid to rest with the mechanic. 
• We don’t have the money to replace it.
• My computer died. I used my birthday money to buy a new laptop.
• The new laptop shipped straight from store in a factory sealed box with a corrupted hard drive that 2 hours and 2 phone calls to tech support couldn’t resolve. 
• I’m currently still waiting for my money to be refunded so I can order a replacement. I’m praying my old laptop will hold on long enough to be able to even write and post this.
• All the while my husband has either been out of the country. Or working 12+ hour days leaving me to single parent our 5 children.
• Our adoption was put on hold waiting for a new caseworker to be assigned as our previous caseworker moved to a new region.

This is not exactly my idea of a good month.

What exactly do we do with the unexpected hard times?

If my good days are dependent on my circumstances then I’m sunk.

• My husband’s home now, but he needs to put in some long hours this week to finish out this project.
• It’s the kid’s spring break but we don’t have a second car to even go to the park.
• Until my money is refunded I’m stuck with an old computer that dies unexpectedly at unfortunate times (reminder to self to save frequently). So I’m out my birthday cash with nothing to show for it.
• Tomorrow we meet with our region’s foster adoption supervisor. We have been reassigned to a new caseworker but I have no idea where our case is now.
• I’m emotionally tired. And tomorrow I will be one day closer to pushing 40.

Maybe these are silly examples.

But they are only different from my hardest months by magnitude.

When difficulty comes it’s hard to handle when we look for hope and joy where it was never promised. Our daily circumstances rise and fall, often without our control. How do we have good days in the midst of hard circumstances?

It starts with gratitude for what we do have: 

• I have a beautiful spring day. 
• All my children are living. 
• Our working car is the one that holds us all. 
• Right this second my computer is working. 
• My husband loves me. 
• I had great tasting coffee this morning…

Great days in the midst of hard times starts in the small places in our hearts. Giving thanks. Choosing to pay attention to a demanding toddler and give them patient love. Seeing past the attitude coming out of the mouth of a teen to their heart’s cry, Love me.

God will let hard days come. Does it mean he doesn’t love us? Nope.

We look for peace where it was never promised: in our circumstances. The peace that God promises is for our hearts. A peace that transcends circumstance.

And that’s the kind of peace I need today.

How has your last month been? Where do you turn when life gets hard? Do you have a favorite saying or Bible verse for those times?

3 Steps To Get Beyond Fear of the Future

Before my cancer diagnosis I would never have called myself a fearful person. But it has been at the back of my mind trying to ride me.

 

Deep inside we feel the certainty that fear and anxiety is not a state God intended us to live in. But how do you shake it?

There are clues hidden inside Proverb 31:25, “Clothed in strength and dignity, she laughs without fear of the future.”

Let’s take it apart. Here are 3 steps to help you get beyond fear of the future so you can live fully alive:

     1. Clothed In strength.

What does it mean to be clothed in strength?  Where do you find strength when you have none?

My strength doesn’t come from within me. In fact, there are times I don’t possess any strength at all. Lots of people would comment when I went through cancer treatment, especially with little kids. “You are so strong,” they’d say.

It wasn’t me.

My strength comes from knowing God loves me. God loves me more than my love for all my children put together. More than all the mothers in the world love their children. I can lean into God’s strength to get through the day when I have none.

If you don’t feel like God loves you, that’s okay. Tell him. God is big enough to handle your feelings. Even the ugly ones. Even fear and anxiety and anger. Even when you feel like God has betrayed you.  

Tell God how you feel. Make space for God to answer.

Jesus’ response might surprise you.

      2. Clothed In dignity.

      From where does our worth come? What does it mean to carry our dignity?

Colossians 3 took over as one of my favorite sections of the Bible recently. Verse 12 says, “God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved.”

My worth doesn’t come from my ability to get out of bed in the morning. My worth  

doesn’t come from what I do in day. Nor does it come from any super power I might 

possess.

My worth, my dignity comes as a gift because God gave it to me. God made me worth 

something. The God of the universe decided I was worth loving. No one can render 

Jesus’ words void.

Ask God to show you that he loves you.  

Struggling with depression once, I knew God existed but I didn’t think he loved me. So I asked Jesus to show me that he loved me. 

 All of a sudden I noticed the beautiful blues and purples that shaded the sky as it darkened into night. I felt a whisper in my soul, “I created this color because I know how much you love it.”

 Ask the Creator of the universe to show you he loves you. And he will.

 3. Laugh.

 You just can’t manage to be truly, deeply worried and belly laugh. Try it. I dare you.

When was the last time you laughed until the muscles in your face or side hurt? Sometimes we have to work harder to find joy. There’s a reason that it was called “a sacrifice of praise,” in the Old Testament part of the Bible.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones. 

If you find yourself in a season of life where it’s hard to lift up your spirit find help. A funny show. A comedy movie. Comedian Jeanne Robertson is clean humor. If you don’t mind a small bit of swearing I recommend the late John Pinnet. (The first time I saw him I laughed so hard I had to have my husband stop the video so I could breathe.)

When you find yourself fearing the future it’s time to go to Jesus who can help. Lift up your cares. List all the gifts in your life. Find your worth in what God says about you. Laugh.

What have you had recently to laugh about or find joy in?

Finding Strength When You Have None

The Lord turned to him (Gideon) and said, “Go with the strength you have.”

~Judges chapter 6, verse 14, 

  the Bible (NAB)

Recently I've been struggling with stepping out in a new direction for my life.  Somehow I think that turning 39 tomorrow disqualifies me from starting a career writing.   

My best qualifications weren’t earned in a university or on the floor working at a major publisher or magazine.  

How exactly am I to find the strength to step in a new direction when I have none?

Hard to believe five bio children and an adoption of a teen from foster care are good for a biography.  Add “breast cancer and heart failure survivor in my 30s” to my resume.  Professional qualifications for sure.

During the Asheville Christian Writer’s Conference one of the speakers, Vonda Skelton, spoke on stepping out when God calls you in a new direction.  Many times when people speak of Gideon from the Bible book of Judges it’s to mock him for cowardice.  Vonda had a different persective.

She opened Gideon’s story with his history.  He lived during hard times; he had a hard life.  It wasn’t as if his family, indeed the entire people of Israel where hiding for nothing.  When the Midianites would come through they would raze everything, “They (the Midianites) came into the land to lay it waste. (Judges 6:5 NAB)”

When an angel from God came to talk with Gideon he was hiding for a good reason.  Starvation is a powerful motivator and Gideon was threshing his family’s wheat.  He had every reason to fear.  The entire nation of Israel could not find the strength to defeat Midian.

The angel greeted Gideon not with, “God is with you, mighty farmer!”  Or if God liked Gideon so much, “You rock, amazing thresher of wheat!”

But, “God is with you, mighty warrior,” or in some translations, “O Champion!” 

 

Uh, sorry?

It isn’t somehow shocking Gideon is confused.  To whom exactly is the angel talking?  It’s not self-effacing for Gideon to say, “Yeah, not so much.  My family aren’t warriors and I’m the weakest member of my family.  Are you sure you have the right guy?”

Angelic suggestions aside, what was God thinking asking me to write?  If you find me at home during the day I have good reason to be there.  Hello, 5 children with one (adoption) on the way.  I’m not hiding.  Exactly.

It’s just that I don’t feel up for the task.  Oh sure, I love to write.  And yeah, I get really passionate about helping people.

But really, God, why aren’t you calling someone more qualified?  Someone stronger.  More put together.

But, “The Lord turned to him (Gideon) and said, ‘Go with the strength you have…It is I who send you.’”

Go with the strength I have.  

God sees me.  God sees that I have a weak heart and extensive scars from cancer.  God sees my life at home with the kids.  Jesus isn’t calling me out so I fall flat on my face.  

Jesus is calling me in love to step out of my comfort zone.  I know health issues and big family and laundry.  The world of writing?  Not so much.

God is okay with my weakness.  More than that, Jesus wants to use my weaknesses to show the world that he loves them.  In my weakness God is strong.  

Ask God for help when you are afraid.  Fear is a powerful motivator.  Courage can be hard to find.  The phrase “take courage” or “take heart” means we have to grab ahold of it.  Let anxiety bubble up so those bubbles can burst in the presence of Jesus who loves us while we are still a mess.

Let God call you out into an unknown adventure.  Go in the strength you have and let God handle the rest.

Where is God calling you to step out of your comfort zone?