Friday, June 15, 2018

Five Things To Avoid During Family Vacations

Last weekend our family went camping at Myrtle Beach State Park.

Think five kids with their parents in one big tent, ninety degree days with ninety percent humidity, four year old boys, fire, sand and sleep in thiry minute increments.

Since I’m a firm believer in learning from other’s mistakes whenever possible, here’s the take away:





Five Things To Avoid During Family Vacations 
So You Don’t Lose Your Ever-loving Mind 
(In Chronological Order)


1. Pack With Five Kids Running Around Shouting, “Beach!” and “Swimming!” and “S’mores!”

    This blog is all about living inside of your God-given strengths. So let me just admit, camping organization is not one of mine. Even on a normal day. (And when, exactly, is life “normal”?)
   
    The right stuff got packed. Mostly. But, where, in fact was it packed?

    The reality of packing for a family vacation is kids running around on those first few days after school lets out, and ahem, fighting with each other, the dog running around barking at the fighting kids, and me trying to balance life. I'm not a ninja-mom-gymnast so this meant the camping stuff ended up in random bags as I thought of those items to be packed. If you pack this way you end up in a campground with your helpful husband trying to set up dinner and asking for where you packed things.

    And then you will say something stupid like, “The camping things are in the bags.”
   
    You both look at the haphazard pile of camping gear, kids backpacks, sand toys, and grocery bags.

    “I’m looking for the matches so I can start the fire. Where in all these bags are the matches?”
   
    Your brilliant reply, “If you wanted to know where the matches are, then you should have been the one to pack them.”

    Ouch. Yes, husband, I packed the things in with the other stuff. I have no idea where it all went.
   
    Including my ever-loving mind.

    Emphasis on the loving part.

2. Don’t Make a Plan for Your Four Year Olds Entertainment While You Set Up the Tent

    We had a shaded campsite chosen, first because it was available, and second because it was close to the bathrooms without needing to worry about constant foot traffic around our campsite all night long. Myrtle Beach State Park is well kept like one might expect from the State Parks system. But it is the beach. Or beach-ish with the campground an easy walk, maybe quarter to half mile down to the water from our site.

    As a beach campground the packed “earth” of the site was really mostly sand. I expected our seven year old daughter and four year old son to run around in the water and spend all day building sand castles at the beach. Not within two feet of the tailgate of the van. Or right next to the water spigot.

    And as my daughter made sand mountains my son decided to turn them into volcanoes that exploded as he stomped them because a. Flying sand is fun, and b. Making your sister cry is even better.
   
    Setting up a campsite doesn’t take that long when you have two uninterrupted adults putting everything to rights. Why would I even think of planning for my children’s entertainment while we did so? It’s not like I haven’t been a mom, for say, fourteen years. (insert face-palm)

    Do me one better. When you drive up to your site don’t just plan out where to put the tent. Pick the least ankle breaking spot for your kids to dig their holes and reserve that space for excavation and sand mountain remodeling. Or, if you don't want to mediate fights every two minutes, get out the coloring stuff first.

3. Forget to Research the Acceptable Shade Devises for the Beach

    Who knew it is illegal to set up a shade tent on the beach inside Horry County? I would if I had thought it was even a thing. Who knew it was a thing?
   
    Well, the beach life guard and parks service representative for one. I’m telling you now, it’s a thing. We didn’t get a citation, thankfully, but each county has a code about the dimensions and type of shelters legal for beach use.

    Chagrined, I took down our sun shade where it sat all day, and the next, in the bag and not able to provide that respite from the June sun.

    One Sander’s family extra-crispy coming up.

4. Bring One Set of Shampoo/Conditioner Because It Saves Space
 

    We recently downsized from a large eight passenger truck (think Suburban or Excursion) to a mini-van to save on gas millage. Very recently. Before the purchase we made sure the whole family would fit comfortably in a mini-van for travel.

    This is, unfortunately, the comfortable of going to Costco or church.

    After adding seven sleeping bags or blankets, seven pillows, one extra-large family tent, a camp stove and propane, ice chest, and beach gear it became crystal clear people will be climbing on top of each other, literally, in order to get out during bathroom stops. As a woman of above average intelligence I then decided taking two bars of soap, two travel shampoos, and two conditioners was simply one too much of everything. Clearly it would tip the load. We could take turns like rational people. Because two travel sized soaps would make a huge difference in packing.
   
    After spending the day at the beach getting extra crispy without our sun tent, and before dinner, my husband and I thought it would be a relief to get out of the wet suits and shower off all the sand that inevitably ends up in places you don’t want it to be when you are crouched around a camp fire roasting hot dogs and marshmallows.

    This is actually a great plan until confronted with the reality of camp ground showering facilities.

    The weekend we camped it was ninety degrees at the beach with ninety percent humidity. Somehow if you compress ninety degrees with ninety percent humidity and add running tepid water in a three foot by three foot shower stall, so that even while standing under the running water you are still sweating, then every kid will want to shower with mom. Because mom has the only soap, shampoo and conditioner.

    Bring extra shampoo. At least one. Or maybe one per person.

5. Only Bring One Fan For The Tent

    Summer days in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina are amazing. When we were there the waves were warm, the sand endless. There is literally no end to the entertainment value of the ocean and sand for all five kids, ages four to fourteen. Even the ones complaining about the lack of video games. We played in the water until all our toes were permanent prunes.

    At some point though, you have to go back to the campground and get your people to go to sleep.

    If you choose to camp anytime between May and October in the South you will know what hell is. You will know because it will be approximately the temperature needed to bake a casserole inside your tent.

    And that single “wind tunnel effect” fan you brought won’t cut it. Not even a little.

    Your people will need to sleep. Let me correct that. They might not need to sleep. But you NEED your people to sleep. And not in thirty minute increments between kicking their neighbor, complaining about their previously favorite sibling breathing “their air” or being in “their space bubble”. And needing to go potty. And tattling on their sibling for having their eyes open.

    Bring a second fan. It could save a life.


    So, this was our recent family vacation camping at Myrtle Beach.

    It was… memory building.


   Do you have any funny or wince-worthy family vacation stories to share?

4 comments:

  1. My grandfather was an avid hunter/fisherman/camper. He painstakingly devised a camping checklist and never, ever left the driveway until each item was checked off. Plus like items were listed next to like (cooking items) and packed accordingly. Everyone in the family still uses it 50 years later with updates. Perhaps you can sit and devise a similar list using your learning lessons and put multiple copies inside camping supplies for future. 😊

    ReplyDelete
  2. I laughed. But only because I know the reality too well!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We have a sort of list on the computer, my problem is continuing to evolve the list based on changing conditions and then not packing the stuff in random places.

    Have you ever done that? We came back from the beach two trips ago and when I was unpacking, THEN i found the sunscreen we couldn't find once we got there. Oy.

    ReplyDelete