3 Tips for Getting Past Your Fears

Last week I attended the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in North Carolina. Before the conference I paid for a critique of my non-fiction book proposal by an agent I would meet there. At the conference I was able to make appointments with two additional agents to pitch my book and sat at dinner right next to another.

Let’s just say there were amply opportunities to exercise my courage.

What does it take to laugh in the face of fear? Here are 3 tips for getting past your fears:

1. Name Your Fears
Jim Watkins led the conference with the keynote speech Sunday night. He gave a hilarious retelling of the David versus Goliath story using writers for David and editors, agents, and publishers in place of Goliath.

Sometimes I make my fears seven feet tall and armed. Just naming my fears for the conference shrinks them down in size a little. Realizing I make my fears giants in my life helps me also face this truth: I am not alone.

When I stand shaking in front of my fears they fill my vision. Naming them for what they are allows me to take a step back. I may be small in the writing industry. I may only have a few tools with which to work at this point. But the God of the universe has called me: Chosen, Holy, and Beloved. (Colossians 3:12 NAB) Not because of my greatness but because of His.

2. Focus on God’s call for your life.

(Proverbs 31:25 NAB) “She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” I can’t yet manage to not be afraid during a book pitch, what is essentially a job interview, but I can take steps to minimize the anxiety I feel by focusing on the source of my strength and calling. My worth is not dependent on landing an agent or winning a book contract. When I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, my fear falls away into the background.

3. Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses.

It would be easy to sit in an interview with say, Bob Hostetler, who has written more than 50 books and let the magnitude of my newness loom as large as his book sales. I am a newer writer, no hiding it. My first appointment of the conference with a different agent where I focused on my amateur writing status was beyond awkward, and I knew I hadn’t put my best foot forward. No surprise when the agent didn’t ask for my proposal or a sample of my work.

After that I leaned into God’s call on my life to be a communicator. I focused on my strengths as a speaker and my hunger to reach out to the millennial generation. The next time I had an agent appointment I was more relaxed and came across better. And guess what? He asked for my book proposal. At dinner that night I sat next to an agent whose blog I had cyber-stalked for years and I was relaxed enough to laugh. She asked for my book proposal. The next day’s appointment went well too. And she asked for my proposal.


Those meetings may never result in those agent’s signing me, but I’m proud of myself. I didn’t let me fears stop me from stepping up.

What are you afraid of? Do you have tricks for getting past your fears?

What Does It Take To Win The Lottery?

Doesn’t it sound so easy? 

Just go out and buy a small paper ticket for three dollars, hardly enough to buy a gallon of gas these days, then poof! 

I too could be a millionaire.

Except we all live in the real world where adulting needs to happen and really winning the lottery looks like this:

Feel God is calling me to write a book

Get mad at God about the ridiculousness of that notion because I have five kids. Five! Where would I find the time?

What. The. Heck.

Get stubborn and decide to prove God wrong, that I can’t write a book, and start writing a book.

Realize after four months of writing for two hours once a week that I am in fact writing a book.

Freak out.

Finish writing a book in about nine months. How did this happen?

Sit for two weeks feeling like I am THE American Ninja Writing Warrior-mom for writing a book.

          Take a brief glance at what it takes to publish my awesomeness.

           Freak out.

Start editing book while I absorb the fact the average new writer writes five manuscripts before they ever publish even one.

Still editing.

How much time does it really take to edit?

Two months later ask friends to help me edit.

Start begging for friends to help me edit.

Join a local writer’s critique group.

Eight readers and six months later realize my manuscript will now be rejected in 15 seconds rather than 10.

Go to my first writer’s conference.

Fast forward one year. Still sneaking moments to write and realizing just how much work goes into a winning ticket.

We all wish people would throw money at us, that instant success we didn’t really earn. In order to win the writers-life lottery I have to give up another more sacred dream than my dream of being a published author.  

 

My real dream is this: 

  

Success doesn’t take work.

I’m about to head off to what will be my fourth writer’s conference, the Blue Ridge Christian Writer’s Conference, picking my way slowly toward my dream. By the law of averages I need to finish my two manuscripts-in-progress, and then start and finish another two manuscripts in the next four years before I maybe get that golden ticket: my first manuscript sale. The idea of the wait is daunting, but then so is the idea of the work involved.

These days with the shifting landscape of e-books, self-publishing, and print-on-demand writers can no longer afford to write the solitary novel while sitting in their introverted cave while dreaming up new universes.

These days being a writer means more than being a dreamer, it means being willing to work for a dream.

Being a writer means I have to go back to school, so to speak: The Writer’s Conference. Not just once. Nope. Again and again at $500-800 a pop.

Why? To learn to write better books. To learn how to edit my own work. To learn how to write 30 page reports on my books. To learn how sell myself. To learn how to turn my self and writing into a brand. To learn how to market. To learn…

To learn success isn’t instant and to decide if I am going to apply my stubborn strength to writing or give into my fears.

The easy path would be to sit at home and bemoan the entire writing industry that doesn’t recognize my obvious creative genius. 

Or I can take the road less traveled in walking miles of humility.

How much money has my family sacrificed for me to go back to writer’s schools? Five kids; for us that’s not extra money just lying around waiting for a use. Am I worth it? I’m scared to death of this next writers conference. Even after attending three conferences the idea of having my work critiqued makes my stomach drop and my hands shake. Will I take the extra steps to put myself out there despite my fear?

How patient am I? I have another 15 months of plodding along in my writing until my youngest is in kindergarten. We can’t afford day care for him, which is fine; I can work at enjoying what will be the only fourth year of life he will ever get and writing in stolen moments. Having two teenagers I know how fast this time of snuggles and belly laughs and tantrums and stomping his feet flies. Wait. Oh yeah, still living that last part with the olders.

Someday this time in my life of wanting to write more and not having the time will slowly melt into having the time and facing the discipline of daily writing. I’m sure I will look back with nostalgia at this year and think I had it easy.

Am I willing to give up my grass-is-greener lottery ticket mentality in order to face my future with courage?

Pray for me. I’ll let you know which path I chose after Blue Ridge.

What steps can you take in the next week to work toward your dream?